I Wouldn't Call it A Promotion, Chapter 2

Merlin opened his eyes and saw daylight streaming in. Jumping to his feet, he ran across the room, snatching up his jacket. He hated being late…
Running down through the castle, he was surprised by the lack of people he saw. The halls were nearly empty. His confusion was swiped away at his arrival on the training fields. Gwaine, Bedivere, Tristan, Percival, Peredur, Owain, Erec and Daniel were waiting there, impatient expressions on their faces.
“Bout time you got here…” Gwaine huffed, good-naturedly, “But Arthur still hasn’t arrived…”
“But it’s almost an hour after what we arranged…” Merlin said, then shrugged. “Sorry I’m late. We can start now? Arthur could always join in later…”
Five minutes later and he was blasting jets of magic at them. Suddenly, he felt something pushing at him, something powerful. The knights noticed the sudden halt of the barrage and looked at him concerned.
“Merlin?” Bedivere sounded worried, “What the hell… Your eyes…”
Merlin looked at his reflection in a nearby shield and froze; his eyes were a blazing gold, shot through with streaks of red. He tried to speak, but the voice that came out wasn’t his own.
“Fear… Power…” the voice was low, hoarse, yet also powerful, commanding. Before Merlin knew what was happening, magic flew from his body, in roiling waves of gold and red. He couldn’t control it. After a few moments, it stopped and Merlin found himself in control again. That’s when he saw his friends. He reached the prone form of Gwaine first, and checked his pulse. Nothing. Then Bedivere, Peredur, Percival… On and On… Dead, All dead… He had killed them… all of them… He fell to his knees, next to Gwaine, and found his hands covered in blood.
“No…” At first, his voice was a whisper, then it became stronger, “No…”
A cry forced its way out of his throat and his grief and guilt and rage seemed to explode with it.
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“No!” Merlin shot up, his blankets flying halfway across the room and several objects rattled, falling to the floor. His breath came in huge, heaving gasps and his body shook. He stayed that way for several moments, trying to calm himself and failing. The nightmares again… this was even worse than the one before. He looked up as Gaius burst into the room, panic written across his face.
“Merlin! Whatever…” he saw the state of the room, then saw the state of his ward, placing two and two together in his head.
“Did you have a… Nightmare?”
“Yes…” Merlins voice shook slightly, and he repeated the word. “Yes… and it was bad… Gaius, I lost control of it…”
“Of what?” The physician sat on the edge of the bed, and his presence soothed Merlin slightly,
“My magic… the new power… I lost control and I… I killed them Gaius… All of them…”
Merlin held back a sob as the emotions of a few moments before came streaming back. Gaius pulled the shaking young man into a firm embrace, waiting until the tremors had stopped, then he pushed him back and looked him in the eyes.
“Merlin… It was a dream. Nothing more. You could never lose control like that.”
“But it was… so real…”
“No. It will never happen…” The young warlock looked terrified, and Gaius noticed that the trembling was starting again. “Merlin!” The young man looked up at him, and Gaius was shocked at the fear in his eyes. He had rarely seen his young ward this afraid.
“Merlin… It couldn’t happen. It won’t ever happen. You could never lose control like that. Not only are you strong enough to control it, but the very fabric of the world of magic would never let you lose control… You can deal with this. I promise you, you can deal with this.”

Merlin saw the complete faith his mentor had and felt some of his fear trickling away.
“But it’s so… it’s so much Gaius… And it’s so strong…”
“And a part of you. It will take time, but you will come to believe that. And you will come to realise that you have the will… the ability to control it. You’re one of the strongest people I know Merlin, even without using magic.”
Merlin gave him a shaky smile, his fear and doubt starting to drain away at the sincerity in the old man’s voice. Gaius saw he was calming down an spoke again.
“Merlin… I know you have always dealt with things yourself… in your own way… But you have people who care about you. People who worry about you. People who have started to realise when something is wrong, even when you bury it.”
“And there was me thinking I was a good actor…”
“You are too good an actor, and that’s the problem. You know I will always be here Merlin. Anytime. Even if you aren’t going to be living here anymore?”
He made it a question and was relieved when Merlin gave him a much wider smile. True enough, Arthur had had one of the old towers cleared and furbished, a task that had taken a mere two days to complete with the help of several sorcerers. They had been, traditionally, where the Court Sorcerer had lived, and now, as such, were where Merlin would be living. Merlin yawned and looked out of the window only to see that it was still dark.
“Gaius? You should get some sleep. Sorry I woke you…” He sounded guilty and Gaius hastened to quash the feeling.
“Nothing to be sorry for. Now come on, you need more sleep too. It’s going to be a busy day…”
Merlin had a flash of panic at the thought of inking into another nightmare, but realised that Gaius was right. A faint smile came over his face as he realised that it would, indeed, be a busy day. One of the busiest he had ever had. He nodded to Gaius.
“Okay…” the word had barely left his mouth when he suddenly felt a wave of fatigue overcome him and sank his head onto his pillow again. He didn’t bother fetching the blanket. It wasn’t cold. It took only a few moments for him to drift off again.
Gaius went and picked up the blanket, before letting it fall over Merlin. After everything he had been through when he had had his magic snatched from him… He had suffered so much… Unbidden, a memory came into his head of a conversation, a few years ago. Where he had had to convince Merlin that he wasn’t a monster. Looking down at the young man, who he saw as the son he had never had, he realised that his job may not yet be done. He only wished he could do more to make Merlin see that he should give himself more credit than he actually did. Could do something to convince Merlin that he was stronger than he thought. Was better than he gave himself credit for. Because he truly was one of the greatest men Gaius had ever known, and he needed to see that.
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Merlin opened his eyes, and immediately felt a smile come to his face. He had been smiling an awful lot over the past three days, since Arthur had informed him of his plans. But nobody seemed to mind his constant chirpiness. In fact, Camelot had seemed to brighten up considerably, with everyone he knew, which was just about everyone, matching his own moods. It had got to the point that, whenever he gave one of his trademark grins, anyone in the nearby vicinity felt themselves smiling like a loon too.
His face fell as he remembered the event of a few hours previously and he calmed his breathing. If Gaius thought he could handle it, then he most likely could. He had to give it time. Had to wait.
Merlin hated waiting.

But he liked the smell that was wafting through the door and jumped to his feet. He was completely dressed, washed and had tidied up the mess from the night before in a little over ten minutes and head down the small staircase. Alice was ladling a honey coloured, oaty smelling, tasty looking mush into bowls and Merlin’s stomach growled. Alice tuned and smiled when she saw him, before handing him a bowl and a spoon.
“Come on, eat. You are meant to be over with Geoffrey and Arthur in a little less than an hour…”
Merlin resisted the urge to face-plant the table.
“Yeah… More talking about old traditions and etiquette that Arthur doesn’t even pretend to be interested in and that I have no intention of following. What fun…”
“Well… That too, but I think it’s more about the ceremony tonight…”
“Tonight?” Merlin finally let the implications of what was happening sink in and his spoon froze, halfway to his mouth. “This is actually happening… Alice… It’s actually happening!”
All lingering doubts and fear from his Nightmare had vanished to the back of his mind as he dropped his spoon and got to his feet, bouncing over to Alice and pulling the woman into a firm embrace, lifting her into the air. She started laughing both at the suddenness of the embrace and at the unvarnished joy on his face. As he put her down again, grinning from ear to ear, she heard the door open and her face split into a wider smile. She poked Merlin’ shoulder,
“Oi! Loony… There is someone here to see you…”
“Who?”
“Turn around…”

Merlin turned and burst into delighted laugher again, running to pull the visitor into a hug.
“Mother! I had no idea you were coming!”
Hunith burst into laughter, both at the joy of seeing her son again and at the way Merlin was acting, as she returned the embrace.
“You think I would ever miss this?” She said, and Merlins smile faded to an expression of joy and contentment that only she would understand.
“It’s actually happening… It all worked out…”
Hunith pulled her so into an embrace again, wondering when he had got so tall.
“Of course it worked out… And I’m so proud of you…”
Merlin wiped the tear from her cheek before it had truly had a chance to fall and pulled his mother over to the table, placing another bowl of food in front of her. As they ate, and talked and caught up with old news, Hunith noticed that her son’s smile never faded, but that Gaius was looking at him, concerned. Resolving to ask her old friend about it, later, she related news from Ealdor, listened to the recent events from Camelot and laughed over old stories until Arthur arrived, wondering why Merlin was late.
The king brushed aside the young man’s half formed apologies, greeting Hunith with a huge smile and a warm embrace.
“It’s good to see you gain Hunith… Though I thought you would not be arriving until later today?”
“We made good time, Sire…”
Arthur realised that it felt wrong to have the woman calling him by a title and hastened to rectify it.
“Please, Hunith. I would have hoped at we were past titles. It’s Arthur.”
“…Very well. Arthur it is. Though I believe you boys have some things to be getting on with?”
If Arthur had any problem with being called a boy, then he didn’t show any hint of them, instead nodding.
“Yes… We still have quite a list of things to get done before tonight. Merlin? It won’t do to keep Geoffrey waiting… you know what he can be like…”
Merlin shuddered slightly.
“More than you know…” He turned to his mother, hugging her again as Arthur left the room.
“I guess I’ll see you later.”
“Of course. Now move it. I expect Arthur to be calling for you in… ooh, about… three… two… one…”
“Merlin! Move it!”
Merlin laughed as he sped off to catch up and Hunith smiled. She had rarely seen her son this happy… Speaking of happy…
“Gaius? Why were you so worried about Merlin this morning?”
Gaius sighed, motioning her to a chair,
“It’s a long story…”


Merlin sank into a chair, a headache beginning to form. Geoffrey had the most boring voice…
Hearing someone sit opposite him, he peeked through an eyelid to see Arthur, looking equally fed-up.
“I swear… Even his lessons on history were never this boring…”
“I would rather clean the stables every day for a week than go through that again,” Merlin responded, in way of agreement. Then he noticed the parcel Arthur had placed onto the table.
“What’s that?”
“Well… we can’t have you joining the court dresses like that… Can we?”
Merlin got defensive.
“Hey! I love this jacket… and don’t you dare insult my neckerchief… No I changed my mind. Insult it. I dare you…”
“Alright, calm down. Jeez. Gwen chose them, not me. And I have a feeling you’ll like them. You’ll have to get used to being treated like royalty Merlin. I’m not going to stand for anything less.”
Merlin shook his head, exasperated and tore open the paper. He was silent for a few moments as he held the contents, before looking at Arthur, who had an amused gleam in his eye.
“Well? Do you like them?”
“Arthur… I… I’ve never…”
“Had anything even remotely like it, I know. You’ll get used to it though… You like them… Right?”
He looked worried for a moment, but Merlins response had him smiling again.
“They are great… Thankyou…” Merlin looked up and gestured around the rooms. “For all of this… I don’t know how to than you…”
“I don’t want to hear any thanks’ Merlin. This is my way of starting to thank you. For everything… And apologise… For everything… And just… Yeah.”
“What do you have to apologise for?”
“A lot of things. I treated you terribly. Both when you worked for me and when I found out about your magic…” His eyes slid to the scar that he knew was on Merlins right arm. “And I hope this can start to make up for some of it…”
Arthur froze, momentarily, as he felt himself enfolded in a hug, before he returned the embrace, if somewhat awkwardly.
“Arthur… You have done more for me than you could ever hope to understand. And you don’t need to apologise for anything. After all, what are friends for, eh?”
Arthur grinned.
“Irritating you?”
Merlin laughed.
“Damn right.”

Arthur left a few minutes later to finalise arrangements and Merlin started to feel slightly nervous. In a few hours, he was going to hold one of the most powerful positions in Camelot. Ad truthfully, the thought scared him slightly. He pulled the clothes from the package and felt an intense gratitude to Gwen. Besides the velvet-like blue tunic, the soft brown leggings, the brand new boots, the thick, brown belt and the deep blue, almost black, floor length, hooded -well, cloak was the only word for it - with a golden dragon-shaped clasp, was a brand new, bright red neckerchief. As he let the fabric slide through his fingers, he smiled. Of course he could get through this. How could he not when he had such incredible friends…